Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
