so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
