i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
