I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
