great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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