so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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