it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
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You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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