I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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