He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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