am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
