You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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