He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
