when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
