Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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