sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
