I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
