I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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