haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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