Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
