My girlfriend figured out who you are.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
