Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
