barbara walters just said penis...
im six kinds of drunk right now
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize