singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sext me about skeletons
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
