found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
