I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
