My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
