So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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