There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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