That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
