Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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