youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
