I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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