SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
