I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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