so explain again why im purple
no
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
