dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You took a bar mat shot.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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