halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
