conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i drank out of a bidet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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