when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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