Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
