he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
