i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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