I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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