Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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