OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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