so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
