Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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