pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
