just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This baby is an asshole
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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