Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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