You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
