HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
