You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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