And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
