I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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