I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
