didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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