Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
