and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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