My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
