I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
