he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
