i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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