I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
