Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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