This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
